The Bris Bunch is gaining a new member in July! We are rounding off the bunch to an even 6. Four children is something that tommy and I have always wanted, but, after Mason's prematurity and the Elizabeth's preterm scare and bed rest we weren't sure that we should try again. When we took that leap of faith and went for Addison we both thought "this is it" during the pregnancy. We were so thrilled that she was born healthy and full term (39 weeks!), but there was something in both of us that kept thinking maybe the fourth isn't out of our realm. On hard parenting days I really thought that I should just stop at 3, but at the end of the night when I would tuck those little nuggets into bed something in me did not want to be done.
Given all of that, I started to panic when I got the double pink line. Three kids is tough stuff, and now we are adding another?! I was just adjusting to life here and getting into a routine, but this threw me off my game. I felt terrible almost instantly. I had terrible nausea which lasted all day. I was beyond tired, but I had insomnia at night. I would lay awake for hours on end stressing about how I was going to handle taking care of four little human beings. Even after seeing the baby on the ultrasound I found myself scared. I asked for a sign that this was the right decision. That is when I realized that this plan is all greater than I am. I get so wrapped up in my own decisions and the "what ifs". It is hard to just have faith in what is supposed to be sometimes, especially when you have crazy pregnancy hormones doing acrobats on you every single day! We are having a baby and giving our children another amazing person to grow up with. What isn't wonderfully, magical about that?!
There are a few things that I have noticed about being pregnant for the FOURTH time!
1.) The belly is no joke this time around. By day 5 of pregnancy I had a belly the size of someone who was 3 months pregnant.
2.) No wine or beer sucks. Tommy is the permanent DD after this one- I had my turn for almost 4 years!
3.) Hearing that heartbeat on the doppler is still the most magical sound in nature. I will never tire of hearing the sweet noise of my baby growing inside of my body.
4.) Newborn baby clothes! Enough said :)
I look forward to sharing more about my pregnancy, baby Bris, and the Bris Bunch's winters in PA!
xo,
K
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