Tonight was the first night in almost 16 months that this nugget didn't nurse before bed. This is the longest that I have gone breastfeeding with any of the 3. With Mason and Elizabeth I nursed them until shortly after a year. With Mason it was 13 months, and Ellie 14 months. Even at that point, they were only nursing in the morning when they woke up. As independent as Addison is, she has hung onto "milk" for a long time. I am not sure if it has to do with the uncertainty of the move, but over the past couple of months she has been requesting "milk" multiple times a day. I have tried to somewhat wean it down to the morning and evening. I felt guilty about not giving her milk anytime that she asked, but it was difficult. I never went through this with the other two, so this was a whole new territory for me. It started to get to the point that she would pull on my shirt and repeatedly ask for milk. I felt like I was turning into a paci and it was taking away from what it was intended to be- a bonding time for us before bed. After a couple of times of me gently telling her no, she started to stop asking during the day and we would only nurse at bedtime and when she woke in the morning. It has been going well and I started to notice that she has become more secure in herself in new situations. Tonight after i put on her Jammie's and wrapped her into her blanket the way that she likes, we sat down to nurse. She sat staring at me and smirking. I asked her if she wanted milk and she shook her head no. I asked again and her reply was the same. So I hugged her, told her that I loved her, and that I was proud of her. Then I snuggled her up and rocked and sang to her until those droopy eyelids came. I kissed those sweet cheeks a thousand times before I laid her down. We will see what tomorrow brings but as I watched her run away from me on the beach today, I saw a change in her. My girl is growing up and as sad as I am, I'm also excited for our next chapter together.
Xo
K
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