Working on my attitude and my gratitude

I find myself to be a fairly positive person. I like to see the glass as half full. I can keep up with that philosophy through a lot of stressors, but right now I'm overwhelmed. Moving into our house, the kids starting new schools, a clingy toddler who only wants me, a husband who is rarely home due to his new hours at residency has me feeling like I'm drowning. I've overwhelmed and I'm feeling sorry for myself.  Even when someone calls to ask me how's it's going, I always reply with "ugh, it's alright."  It has changed me from a positive person to a very negative person. I only see the unorganized mess in my house, the dirty floors, the lawn that needs to be clipped. I'm tired and every time someone wakes up too early I am cursing that I have to get out of bed. The weather is either too hot or it's too cold.  You get the picture. I am bitching about everything and I am failing to see anything in a positive light.

Someone must be looking out for me.  When I was at my lowest point and felt like I was completely drowning, I received the following posting from my friend.  It really hit home for me.

I'm complaining about my dirty house, but what I should be doing is being thankful for the roof over my head.  I have three healthy, beautiful children who love me so much that they can't wait to see me, ME! when they wake their sweet little faces up in the morning. Sure, my husband is gone a lot during the week, and we don't have nearly as much time with him as we did before, but at least he comes home to us at night. He's not deployed to Afghanistan or Iraq for a year. He is working so hard to provide our family with more stability and possibilities. Every time I think something negative I want to turn it into something positive.  I know that it's only going to make me happier and it's going to help me to be a better wife and mother.

"Life is short.  Always choose happiness."
xo
Kirby

Always kiss goodnight

This year I find myself thinking about the wives and husbands of those who were lost on that dreadful day 14 years ago. Little did they know that when they kissed their loved ones goodbye that morning, that it would be the last. Or even worse, when they didn't kiss goodbye because they were in an argument and they thought that they would make up when they got home.  I try to think of that often and remind myself that we don't know our future. We don't even know what is going to happen one minute from now.  Don't take it for granted and don't hold grudges. Life is just too damn short. 

#neverforget

Xo

K

Nursing the nuggets

Tonight was the first night in almost 16 months that this nugget didn't nurse before bed. This is the longest that I have gone breastfeeding with any of the 3. With Mason and Elizabeth I nursed them until shortly after a year. With Mason it was 13 months, and Ellie 14 months. Even at that point, they were only nursing in the morning when they woke up. As independent as Addison is, she has hung onto "milk" for a long time. I am not sure if it has to do with the uncertainty of the move, but over the past couple of months she has been requesting "milk" multiple times a day. I have tried to somewhat wean it down to the morning and evening.  I felt guilty about not giving her milk anytime that she asked, but it was difficult. I never went through this with the other two, so this was a whole new territory for me.  It started to get to the point that she would pull on my shirt and repeatedly ask for milk.  I felt like I was turning into a paci and it was taking away from what it was intended to be- a bonding time for us before bed.   After a couple of times of me gently telling her no, she started to stop asking during the day and we would only nurse at bedtime and when she woke in the morning. It has been going well and I started to notice that she has become more secure in herself in new situations. Tonight after i put on her Jammie's and wrapped her into her blanket the way that she likes, we sat down to nurse. She sat staring at me and smirking. I asked her if she wanted milk and she shook her head no. I asked again and her reply was the same. So I hugged her, told her that I loved her, and that I was proud of her. Then I snuggled her up and rocked and sang to her until those droopy eyelids came. I kissed those sweet cheeks a thousand times before I laid her down. We will see what tomorrow brings but as I watched her run away from me on the beach today, I saw a change in her. My girl is growing up and as sad as I am, I'm also excited for our next chapter together. 

Xo

K

Elliephant Bris

This little girl starts kindergarten in a few weeks. In the stress of the past months, I have been anything but patient with her. She has always been my "easy one," so when she is even remotely difficult I can't deal with it. I'm hard on her and I expect more of her than I should. I need someone to remind me that she's only five. She's only been on this planet for five short years! Tonight as I stared at this sweet face at the park and as she wrapped her small arms around me at bedtime, I felt the reminder that I have been looking for. She needs me right now more than ever. I need to stop, get down to her level, and listen to what this gentle soul has to say. Before I know it, she's not going to need me. And that thought is so terrifying to me because I will always need her. My sweet, beautiful Elliephant.

Bris Friday Favorite

Reading grows your brain and your heart!

 This is one of our favorite ways to bond around the Brislin house. We cuddle up with a bunch of our favorites and read on. I try to have the big kids read for about 20-30 minutes a day. Ellie is still learning so she mostly looks through the pictures, but I find that it is a great way to calm her down and have that quiet time that she has missed out on since she stopped napping. Reading has a huge calming effect on Mason. Ever since he was a baby, a good story would ease any tension he was having. It has taken Addison a little bit longer to get into story time. She has always been such a busy body that it has been hard to get her to sit still. That seems to be changing though and her love for reading time has been growing. One of her favorites right now is the sign and speak Itsy Bitsy Spider. This has been in our Bris Book collection since Mason was a baby. It is a simple book with simple pictures, but every one of our kiddos have loved to have it read to them time and time again.  If you have a toddler in your life pick it up today! They are sure to love it as much as the Bris Bunch does. 

 http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1904550436/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?qid=1439570732&sr=8-4&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=itsy+bitsy+spider+book

Building the New

We are finally in our new house! These past couple of weeks have sent my head spinning with emotions as our move in day kept getting pushed back. It is no secret that I have struggled with our move back here. As much as I love being near family, I miss our life in California. We had an amazing four years there. With all of our changes since moving to PA, and with the amount of time that we have spent apart from Tommy, I find myself longing for our old life. I have feelings of doubt in our decision to move here. As I tucked the overly excited kids into bed last night in the new house, I felt a little sense of relief and comfort. Change is hard, and even if I'm  not living in the exact place that I want to be, I need to be grateful for every thing that I do have. We are together and that is all that matters. I love this quote that I found the other day. I find myself reading it frequently and reminding myself to focus on building a great new life here. One that we can look back on with the most fond memories. 

Stay tuned for pictures and updates on our sweet little house! 

Xo

K

The Web

Mason recently went on a trip to the local library with Grammy B to pick out some stories for his summer reading.  He came home with a stack full of books about baseball and soccer, Runaway Ralph (my favorite!), Pokemon, and the good old fashioned story of Charlotte's Web.  He quickly read through the others, but kept putting aside Charlotte's Web.  I knew that it was probably not as exciting as Pokemon, but I was still anxious for him to start it to see how he was going to like it.  One rainy day he finally picked it up and began reading. He came in and said "Wow this is much better than I thought that it was going to be.  I thought that it was just going to be about some little girl name Charlotte who started a website."  I cracked up at that comment and told the story over again to family and friends.  But I began to think about how telling that was of his generation.  When he hears the word web, his only thought is website.  Its so interesting to see how quickly the world changes and evolves.  Especially in the technology-driven world that we are living in. Despite the benefits the web connection gives us, it is important to separate it from the real-life "web" of relationships that we are constantly developing.  That is why I am so happy that he picked up this classic tale of friendship that has been enjoyed from generation to generation.  Pick up a one today or crack open your old copy. Sometimes a story about a pig and a spider is just what you need. 

"Why did you do all of this for me?" he asked. 

 "I don't deserve it.  I've never done anything for you."

"You have been my friend," replied Charlotte.

"That in itself is a tremendous thing."

xo,

K