A Bittersweet Goodbye

Four years ago, Tommy and I came out to San Diego for the first time.  Tommy had just taken an oath to join the Navy as an officer in the Dental Battalion and we found out that he would be stationed at Camp Pendleton.  We left Mason and Elizabeth in Philadelphia with my mom and came out to search for a place to live. I remember being in such shock of California.  As we drove around from San Diego to Carlsbad, I saw that it really was just like it is in the movies. There were beautiful homes on the cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean and surfers walking barefoot from their cars to the beach.  Friends and bonfires lined the shores every evening.  Was this real?  Were we really about to move our crew out here so far away from our family?

Now four years later I find myself thinking back to that couple who came out here and I can barely recognize them.  So much has changed since the time when we took that leap and moved our little family across the country, far away from everything that we had ever known.  I have grown and changed in ways that I never thought possible.  Tommy and my marriage has strengthened and we feel closer than ever. We have created our own family traditions and learned how to parent on our own.  I have truly envisioned us living here forever and raising our children in this amazing environment.  We have had serious conversations about buying a place and settling here.  But then at the beginning of this year, Tommy was accepted into the Oral Surgery program at Temple University.  He has always dreamed of becoming a surgeon so he decided to apply for residency.  When I found out that he was accepted, I was thrilled for him.  What an amazing opportunity and a chance for us to be back near our family.  As much as I was excited for him, I was also so disappointed for us.  We have created a life out here and its been a wonderful one.  We have grown and strengthened.  We have added to our family (Yay Addie Girl!!). We have so many wonderful and amazing friends who have become like family to us.  We are involved in school, baseball, music, theatre. If we leave all of what we have valued does that mean that we leave some of us behind?

As much as I am scared to start over, and as sad as I am to leave our life here, I find myself feeling so grateful that we were given the opportunity to live here.  I am so thankful to all of our friends here who have taken us in and made us family.  Your friendship has made our time here that much more amazing.  As we close our this chapter and prepare for our next adventure I ask God for guidance through our move.  We can do this Bris Family!
Thanks Cali.  You are like no one else.

xo
K

Happy 1st birthday to my forever baby girl

Addison Guthrie,

Happy 1st birthday my love! What an emotional journey we have been on during this year of your life. It started with you shocking us all. Instead of showing up as the boy we were informed you were, we were blessed with a sweet baby girl. We have had to make many tough decisions over this past year regarding the future of our little family and where we will live. It has not been an easy year, but man, it has been a great one. I have never felt alone through it all because I have always had you with me. You have such an amazing and strong soul. You are brilliant. You pick up on everything so quickly and have understood so much of what we have said from the beginning. One of my favorite things about you is how you have always prefered to have your head near my head when I carry you around.  You push your forehead against my mouth when you want kisses.  It always leaves me with your sweet smell which I just drink up long after I put you down. You give best cuddles. Every single night I have the hardest time putting you to bed. I lay with you to stare at those amazing long lashes, lips, and your dimple chin that is just like your daddy's. I could hold your sweet little body forever!
Thank you for coming into our family and showering us with such sweet love birdie. You have brought us so much joy and have given me much strength.

I love you forever my Addie girl.
Xoxo
Mama

“But the last one: the baby who trails her scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after - oh, that's love by a different name. She is the babe you hold in your arms for an hour after she's gone to sleep. If you put her down in the crib, she might wake up changed and fly away. So instead you rock my the window, drinking the light from her skin, breathing her exhaled dreams. Your heart bays to the double crescent moons of closed lashes on her cheeks. She's the one you can't put down.” -Barbara Kingsolver

Photo cred due to my amazingly talented friend Sarah Smylie :)  Forever grateful to you for capturing these moments.

Happy 5th birthday to my sweet Elizabeth

To my dearest Elizabeth, 

When I was about 6 years old I saw the movie Baby Boom. Even though it was not a kids movie by any means, I loved it. I loved the story line and I absolutely adored the baby Elizabeth from the movie. I imagined a time when I would have my very own Elizabeth baby girl to hug, love, and care for.  About 20 years later, on April 30th, 2010, my wish came true. From the second that you were born, I could not take my eyes away from you. The nurses begged me to rest that night but I could not close my lids. I did not want to sleep for a single second because if I did, it might mean that my fairy tale dream did not come true. Since the moment that you were placed into my arms, you have amazed me and you continue to amaze me in every step that you take through life. Your soul has a deeper understanding of the world. You have grounded me with such simple, but profound statements.  The world is a better place with your beautiful spirit in it. You are my dream come true buttercup. I waited so long for you. Thank you for all of the joy and knowledge that you have already given me. I'm so proud to be your mommy and I love watching you grow. Happy birthday my Elizabeth. 

"I wanted you more than you ever will know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go." -Nancy Tillman

Xo

Mama

Photos by the crazy talented Tyler Branch :)

Family camp

We spent the weekend camping at Vail Lake campgrounds with the YMCA adventure guides. Mason and Tommy have been attending their father son campouts at various locations for the past 3 years. It is an amazing program and such a great way to strengthen their bond. I love when they come back and share stories from their trip.

I was especially excited to go to this campout with them to experience some of the fun myself. Well, I do have to admit that I was mostly excited, but also very nervous to campout with an almost one year old in a tent for the weekend. I was kind of expecting the worst with that little Addie girl. 

We arrived on Friday had a great dinner, bonfire, and drinks with the tribe. I put Addison down early. The big kids stayed up super late running around with glow sticks and chasing their friends. It was adorable to see them all wound up and excited to be there. Around midnight the bird woke up freezing. Even though it was high 80s during the day, it went down to 35 overnight! We were not prepared for that so we were pretty cold. Even though we had very little sleep that night, it didn't stop us from having loads of fun on Saturday. We played lazer tag, swam at the pool, had tons of yummy food, a very entertaining nation fire, and ended the night with s'mores, drinks, and card games by the fire. I forgot to mention that the whole weekend was 70s themed so we got to have some fun dressing up in our daisy dukes!

What great memories that we made this weekend. The best part was spending the weekend unplugged from phones, tv, and the computer. Feels so refreshing to be present in the moment.

Xo

Kirby