During yoga this week my instructor said something interesting regarding the New Year's Resolution. She felt as though "resolution" was a pass/fail sort of thing that did not leave room for anything else. She chooses to use the word "intention" instead- I intend to open up to....
I really like this positive spin on meeting goals for the future so I have begun to think about this "intention" when listing what I would like to open up to in the new year.
I intend to....
Purchase a clock for my bedside table
Spend more time away from my phone
Purchase less clothing and spend less time shopping
Organize files on my computer
Get up to date with the kids photo albums
Explore new projects to fulfill my creative side
More to follow..
Try it for yourself. You might feel inspired!
Xox
K
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
New year goal # 1
I read an article the other day about how Americans have changed their perspective of what they consider to be "wealthy." It was written in a negative tone, but it actually had me thinking in a positive way. I know that this economic hardship that we are facing is causing some serious issues, but in our day to day life I feel it has its pluses. We stay in more often and make dinners together in our homes as families. The cost of a night out at the movies as a family of four can cost over $75, who can afford that every weekend? We find other activities to spend our time doing- take walks at night, play board games, watch a show together... Is this all such a bad thing?
A recently published novel entitled "The Winter of our Disconnect" is a story of a mother and 3 teenagers who pulled the plugs from their highly electronic lifestyle for 6 months- no computer, phone, television, video games. Nothing- for 6 whole months. It was difficult for all of them, but in the end it brought them closer together and let them see that there are other activities that we can do besides facebook, IMing, emails, shop, watch tv, play video games.. They read books, played games, REALLY talked and learned about their greatest fears and goals. To be honest, I do not think that I could last 1 day without my phone, let alone 6 months. I do not sleep with a clock next to my bed because my iphone is plugged in with the time neatly displayed. As soon as Mason comes in to wake me in the morning, he shows me it is 7 am by handing me my phone, which I proceed to check my email, texts, facebook.. all before I have even gotten out of bed to pee. Its actually really sickening.
I grew up being extremely close to my family. We had tuesday night "Full House" nights, we would play outside, would be so excited for a snow day because that meant that the three of us could just be together all day. Even when the computer, and instant message became popular, we all shared a computer and had a time limit on how long we could be online. We really knew each other.
I want my kids to have the same experience but it has to start with me. Where is my phone time limit? Email limit? Facebook?
Goal of 2012- Find a balance and a way to apply a "disconnect" from this electronic focus that works within my work and family lifestyle. Suggestions welcomed :)
Xoxx
K
A recently published novel entitled "The Winter of our Disconnect" is a story of a mother and 3 teenagers who pulled the plugs from their highly electronic lifestyle for 6 months- no computer, phone, television, video games. Nothing- for 6 whole months. It was difficult for all of them, but in the end it brought them closer together and let them see that there are other activities that we can do besides facebook, IMing, emails, shop, watch tv, play video games.. They read books, played games, REALLY talked and learned about their greatest fears and goals. To be honest, I do not think that I could last 1 day without my phone, let alone 6 months. I do not sleep with a clock next to my bed because my iphone is plugged in with the time neatly displayed. As soon as Mason comes in to wake me in the morning, he shows me it is 7 am by handing me my phone, which I proceed to check my email, texts, facebook.. all before I have even gotten out of bed to pee. Its actually really sickening.
I grew up being extremely close to my family. We had tuesday night "Full House" nights, we would play outside, would be so excited for a snow day because that meant that the three of us could just be together all day. Even when the computer, and instant message became popular, we all shared a computer and had a time limit on how long we could be online. We really knew each other.
I want my kids to have the same experience but it has to start with me. Where is my phone time limit? Email limit? Facebook?
Goal of 2012- Find a balance and a way to apply a "disconnect" from this electronic focus that works within my work and family lifestyle. Suggestions welcomed :)
Xoxx
K
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
A little christmas magic
Last night we went out to purchase our Christmas tree. We meet Tommy on his way home from work at the Home Depot near our house. We look around at all of the tied up trees, pick one that seems to have good shape, strap it to the roof of our car, and head home.
By the time we get home and get the massive thing unloaded into the house, everyone is starving. Elizabeth is hanging on my leg whining, Mason is throwing a temper tantrum on the floor, Tommy is obsessing over the extra branches that need to be clipped, and I'm attempting to put together a meal for us. The house looks like a bomb went off. Tupperware containers, filled w holiday decor, are consuming the kitchen and living room. My vision of a lovely evening listening to christmas tunes, hanging ornaments on the tree, and putting out our favorite decorations is not panning out the way I had envisioned. Getting everyone fed is a must at this point so we throw food on the table. After we eat, I could care less about decorating the tree. I just want to focus on cleaning up this mess, which has just been added to w pans and dishes. I turn on the "All I want for Christmas is You"Pandora station to help get me in the mood. A few songs go by and Im still not feeling it. Now Im just tired- tired of listening to the kids cry, tired of cleaning the dishes for the 1000 time that day, tired of tripping over their toys, tired of my life being consumed by kid land.. Then Elizabeth falls off of her car and is laying on the carpet crying. I can not get to her because of the barricade of boxes in the kitchen, Tommy is trimming the branches on the tree, but sweet Mason, without being asked, goes over to her, leans down, gently takes her hand, and helps her up. The little smile on her face, and the sweet, caring voice of Mason just melted my heart. The sound of the First Noel, which starts playing in the midst of all of this, makes the perfect backdrop to the moment. This is what Christmas is all about... family, love, kindness, and being supportive. I shook off my bad mood and we decorated our tree. Mason was so proud to place that star on top.
After I finished putting Elizabeth to bed I come out to see Mason standing there, staring up at the tree. "Do you like it Mas?" "Yes mommy, its just so beautiful. I love looking at it."
And I love looking at you my dear. Wish I could freeze the moment forever.
Xoxx
K
By the time we get home and get the massive thing unloaded into the house, everyone is starving. Elizabeth is hanging on my leg whining, Mason is throwing a temper tantrum on the floor, Tommy is obsessing over the extra branches that need to be clipped, and I'm attempting to put together a meal for us. The house looks like a bomb went off. Tupperware containers, filled w holiday decor, are consuming the kitchen and living room. My vision of a lovely evening listening to christmas tunes, hanging ornaments on the tree, and putting out our favorite decorations is not panning out the way I had envisioned. Getting everyone fed is a must at this point so we throw food on the table. After we eat, I could care less about decorating the tree. I just want to focus on cleaning up this mess, which has just been added to w pans and dishes. I turn on the "All I want for Christmas is You"Pandora station to help get me in the mood. A few songs go by and Im still not feeling it. Now Im just tired- tired of listening to the kids cry, tired of cleaning the dishes for the 1000 time that day, tired of tripping over their toys, tired of my life being consumed by kid land.. Then Elizabeth falls off of her car and is laying on the carpet crying. I can not get to her because of the barricade of boxes in the kitchen, Tommy is trimming the branches on the tree, but sweet Mason, without being asked, goes over to her, leans down, gently takes her hand, and helps her up. The little smile on her face, and the sweet, caring voice of Mason just melted my heart. The sound of the First Noel, which starts playing in the midst of all of this, makes the perfect backdrop to the moment. This is what Christmas is all about... family, love, kindness, and being supportive. I shook off my bad mood and we decorated our tree. Mason was so proud to place that star on top.
After I finished putting Elizabeth to bed I come out to see Mason standing there, staring up at the tree. "Do you like it Mas?" "Yes mommy, its just so beautiful. I love looking at it."
And I love looking at you my dear. Wish I could freeze the moment forever.
Xoxx
K
Monday, November 14, 2011
Just another manic monday
So here is a little insight into how my Monday morning began...
Elizabeth decided to start on and off crying around 4:45 am, which I try to ignore, hoping she will go back to sleep, until she starts calling "mom, mommy, mama, mommmm..." I go in to get her so that Mason does not wake up and then I have 2 of them to deal with on this early, dark morning. I find random activities (play with the remote, phone, put chapstick on) for her to do quietly in my room. Mason comes in at 7 and we all head out to begin the normal wake up routine. They each get a cup of milk, which Ellie decides that she would like to pour in her hand and "wash her hair" with, instead of drink. Mason has an artistic inspiration and decides he wants to draw all of us with his cousins on Thanksgiving so we need a HUGE piece of paper, markers, and his drawing table stat. Trying to keep Ellie away from the masterpiece, I put her in the highchair with cheerios, strawberries, and milk. She decides she is not hungry and dumps it all over the place. After cleaning her and the mess up I start to unload the dishwasher. As Im putting the plates away I look down to see Elizabeth grabbing for the sharp knives. I pull her away, tell her DANGER, and say no. She stands on the stool watching me unload the rest of the stuff, with a snotty glare on her face (how dare I tell her no). Mason, the artist, has finished his design and now needs breakfast so I pour him a bowl of cereal. In a matter of seconds, I turn around to E about to wipe her face with the clorox wipe that I had just used to wipe down the counter. Enough with the kitchen! We need her out of here! So I take her to her room, change and dress her. We head back out to get Mason dressed and play with some toys before we have to take Mason to school. Ellie is occupied for a minute so I grab the recycling to take out to the garage, but she calls me for help. As I lean over to help her, the very last of the beer drips out of the bottle I am taking out to the garage and lands on her head. I try wiping it off but she still smells like stale beer. She has a doctors appoinment at a new office today. I decide that as much as I want to be lazy and not bathe her, I probably shouldn't take my daughter smelling like alcohol to meet the new pediatrician. I put soap on a washcloth and rub it in her hair. Well I used too much. The soap is everywhere and I have to undress her so I can thoroughly rinse it out. Now its time to get Mason dressed. We go into his room and as I lean down to help him, I notice this huge orange spot on his light blue comforter. "What is this?" I ask Mason. He says "I dont know, I think Ellie did it." I smell it, its marker. I say "Ellie did you color this?" Head nods yes. I strip it, rinse it, only to have the orange bleed all over the white star that is also on the duvet. Breathe Kirby, breathe, you can deal with this later. I tell Mas to get in the car, grab E to find that she has pooped! Are you serious?!!! I change her, strap her in the car, and come back inside to find my phone. As I just about loose my patience and flip my lid, I close my eyes and say a prayer. "I need help getting through this day. Please help me. I can't do it alone." I open my eyes to see my phone laying there and a total calmness run through my body. The rest of the day was as smooth as pie.
It always pays to ask for help!
PS the stain came out :)
And below is sweet Mason's drawing. Even though his sister was anything but sweet this morning, he was calm and cool. Such an amazing boy with a kind heart.
Xoxx
K
Elizabeth decided to start on and off crying around 4:45 am, which I try to ignore, hoping she will go back to sleep, until she starts calling "mom, mommy, mama, mommmm..." I go in to get her so that Mason does not wake up and then I have 2 of them to deal with on this early, dark morning. I find random activities (play with the remote, phone, put chapstick on) for her to do quietly in my room. Mason comes in at 7 and we all head out to begin the normal wake up routine. They each get a cup of milk, which Ellie decides that she would like to pour in her hand and "wash her hair" with, instead of drink. Mason has an artistic inspiration and decides he wants to draw all of us with his cousins on Thanksgiving so we need a HUGE piece of paper, markers, and his drawing table stat. Trying to keep Ellie away from the masterpiece, I put her in the highchair with cheerios, strawberries, and milk. She decides she is not hungry and dumps it all over the place. After cleaning her and the mess up I start to unload the dishwasher. As Im putting the plates away I look down to see Elizabeth grabbing for the sharp knives. I pull her away, tell her DANGER, and say no. She stands on the stool watching me unload the rest of the stuff, with a snotty glare on her face (how dare I tell her no). Mason, the artist, has finished his design and now needs breakfast so I pour him a bowl of cereal. In a matter of seconds, I turn around to E about to wipe her face with the clorox wipe that I had just used to wipe down the counter. Enough with the kitchen! We need her out of here! So I take her to her room, change and dress her. We head back out to get Mason dressed and play with some toys before we have to take Mason to school. Ellie is occupied for a minute so I grab the recycling to take out to the garage, but she calls me for help. As I lean over to help her, the very last of the beer drips out of the bottle I am taking out to the garage and lands on her head. I try wiping it off but she still smells like stale beer. She has a doctors appoinment at a new office today. I decide that as much as I want to be lazy and not bathe her, I probably shouldn't take my daughter smelling like alcohol to meet the new pediatrician. I put soap on a washcloth and rub it in her hair. Well I used too much. The soap is everywhere and I have to undress her so I can thoroughly rinse it out. Now its time to get Mason dressed. We go into his room and as I lean down to help him, I notice this huge orange spot on his light blue comforter. "What is this?" I ask Mason. He says "I dont know, I think Ellie did it." I smell it, its marker. I say "Ellie did you color this?" Head nods yes. I strip it, rinse it, only to have the orange bleed all over the white star that is also on the duvet. Breathe Kirby, breathe, you can deal with this later. I tell Mas to get in the car, grab E to find that she has pooped! Are you serious?!!! I change her, strap her in the car, and come back inside to find my phone. As I just about loose my patience and flip my lid, I close my eyes and say a prayer. "I need help getting through this day. Please help me. I can't do it alone." I open my eyes to see my phone laying there and a total calmness run through my body. The rest of the day was as smooth as pie.
It always pays to ask for help!
PS the stain came out :)
And below is sweet Mason's drawing. Even though his sister was anything but sweet this morning, he was calm and cool. Such an amazing boy with a kind heart.
K
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Friendship
The past 2.5 weeks have been so wonderful to see old friends and share in the celebration of their marriage. Makes me think back onto my own wedding and how quickly the past 5 years have passed..
There has been lots of ups and downs along the way- 2 babies, dental school, unemployed, moving.. but I think the hardest times happened when I wasn’t as close with my friends through my troubled times. Carrie Flower encourages us to be friends to those encountering illness or difficulties but what happens when you try to be a friend to someone and they wont let you in? Even though Tommy and I were dating for 7 years before we got married, our actual wedding happened quickly. After finding out we were expecting we decided to move on with the wedding before our little Mason arrived. So that was a lot to process, and if finding out we were pregnant, planning and executing a wedding in 2 months wasn’t hard enough our Mason arrived 6 weeks early. At 5 lbs 14 oz, with GERD and respiratory distress, he wound up in the NICU. The hardest day of my life still has to be when I left the hospital and didn’t have my baby with me. It was devastating. After a 2 week feeding battle he came home with us. Caring for a newborn is hard enough, especially when you combine it with a premature baby with GERD and who needs to nurse constantly so he will grow. At 6 weeks he went into the hospital for surgery for treatment of pyloric stenosis. It was devastating and for some reason I felt like it was all my fault. I was a young mom who got “knocked up” and as if that wasn’t bad enough, I couldn’t even keep my baby inside long enough so that he could grow to his fullest. I was embarrassed and felt that I had no one to turn to because who could understand?
I began to back myself into a hole. I didn’t really do much with anyone besides my family. I was too scared to take Mason anywhere. My friends did reach out to me, ask me to go out, go to the movies, visit them, do things that we use to do before I had a baby. But I took that as them not understanding and not wanting to be a part of my new life with a newborn. I drifted away from everyone and was depressed. I didn’t really understand that I was depressed though until I finally met some other mom friends when Mason was about 14 months old. Once I finally felt comfortable enough, I shared with them how I was feeling. They shared similar stories, which I could relate to. It still took awhile to get out of the darkness and socialize again. Once I had Elizabeth I was certain not to let this happen again. As hard as it is to leave the newborn and your little boy, it is so important to go out, have fun with your friends, and do the things that were important to me before I was just a “mom.” I swear exercising has helped as well. During the “darkness” with Mason I barely worked out. Running, spinning, stretching, and yoga are my therapy. As hard as some days are to get out there and move because Im so sleep deprived or just “not in the mood” I always get re-energized when I get moving.
I am so thankful for all of my friends in my life and I thank you for sticking by me, even if I wasn’t always available to let you in. I love you!
Xoxx
K
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Heading Home!
Sorry for the delay in post. It has been a busy, busy past 2 weeks, both personally and with Carrie Flower.
First off Carrie is in a wonderful location out here in Solana Beach at a great shop called Mabels. The girls there loved her (naturally, how could you not?!) and they welcomed the Bouquet for Brighter Days with open arms. Carrie has also landed a new home on www.etsy.com. We are so honored to be a part of this amazing community!
I have been working on developing a two new products for Carrie Flower- tshirts and headbands. Headbands are in all different colors and patterns. Tshirts include Carrie and friends. More pictures and details to follow. Let me just say these will make great holiday gifts!!
Through all of this excitement I have been packing and prepping for our big trip back east where 3 of our amazing friends are getting married. Cannot wait to celebrate with all of these fabulous couples and to see our dear friends and family!!!!!!! So blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.
Touch base back east :)
xoxx
K
Monday, October 3, 2011
Mondays can just be rough. Don't know if its because it is the first Monday in October or what but this one has been particularly challenging. Wake up with a massive headache and sore throat. Roll over, check my phone to find 10 new emails which need responses ASAP (one problem with living on the West Coast and your co-workers are on the East Coast). The kids are particularly cranky, but I manage to get them fed, dressed, pack Mas's lunch, and out the door to school. We surprisingly arrive on time.
Have a call with our publishers. We need to increase our Amazon sales and our reviews. They have taken a major decline since July. Sometimes I just want to give up, but I tell myself that we must keep on moving. Lets get those sales up! My marketing and sales side is racking my brain for new advertising ideas. Our brand new website is just about finished with a whole Carrie Flower community. You can visit a school where you will find out about our programs and sign up to bring one to your school; There is a hospital where you can sign up to give a gift to someone special or become a penpal; In the theatre you can view our Carrie Flower video clip and see pictures of past events; And enter Carrie's home, where you can create your own flower profile, play games, and find out more about Carrie Flower. Im really excited for it to be launched! New Carrie Flower products are arriving shortly, just in time for holiday shopping. Anyone who is reading this please help support Carrie Flower. If you have not done so already- buy a book on Amazon, write a review of your favorite story, give the gift of friendship the holiday season.
There are a couple of stores out here who I am meeting with this week. Carrie would fit in perfectly with their merchandise, lets hope they think so too!!
Another exciting avenue is that Carrie will be sold on www.Etsy.com, a wonderful website filled with talented designer and artists unique, handmade items. We are very excited to be a part of this amazing community.
I just need to stay positive and move forward with new ways to get Carrie Flower out there in the world..
Maybe Mondays=MOTIVATION!
Keep you posted on all the success :)
Xoxx
K
Have a call with our publishers. We need to increase our Amazon sales and our reviews. They have taken a major decline since July. Sometimes I just want to give up, but I tell myself that we must keep on moving. Lets get those sales up! My marketing and sales side is racking my brain for new advertising ideas. Our brand new website is just about finished with a whole Carrie Flower community. You can visit a school where you will find out about our programs and sign up to bring one to your school; There is a hospital where you can sign up to give a gift to someone special or become a penpal; In the theatre you can view our Carrie Flower video clip and see pictures of past events; And enter Carrie's home, where you can create your own flower profile, play games, and find out more about Carrie Flower. Im really excited for it to be launched! New Carrie Flower products are arriving shortly, just in time for holiday shopping. Anyone who is reading this please help support Carrie Flower. If you have not done so already- buy a book on Amazon, write a review of your favorite story, give the gift of friendship the holiday season.
There are a couple of stores out here who I am meeting with this week. Carrie would fit in perfectly with their merchandise, lets hope they think so too!!
Another exciting avenue is that Carrie will be sold on www.Etsy.com, a wonderful website filled with talented designer and artists unique, handmade items. We are very excited to be a part of this amazing community.
I just need to stay positive and move forward with new ways to get Carrie Flower out there in the world..
Maybe Mondays=MOTIVATION!
Keep you posted on all the success :)
Xoxx
K
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