If I could keep you little-Bris Book Review

If I Could Keep You Little... , by Marianne Richmond, was gifted to Oliver for his birthday by his Aunt Julie and Uncle Chris.  We received it at his birthday party which happened to be the day before Mason left for his overnight camp where he stayed for two weeks this summer.  I coincidentally ended up opening it after I got back from dropping Mason off, and was feeling very emotional.  The book couldn't have been more fitting for me at that moment!  It is a short, rhyme type story which is directed as us parents.  It corresponds to be previous post of trying to enjoy every moment with them now, and as they grow..  One of the pages even reads, "If I could keep you little, we'd nap in our fort midday.  But then I'd miss you sharing adventures from camp away."  Although I am certain that I will miss these babies, if I kept them little, I would also miss so much of their joy, accomplishments, and seeing them become who they are destined to be.

I recommend this book to new parents, veteran parents, grandparents.. any parent!  I love it!  My kids love it because of the calm, rhyming script and the sweet, soft pictures. It’s a Bris Bunch Favorite!

xo
K

Choosing Kindness

It has been two weeks since the kids have been back to school.  It already feels like the summer was another lifetime ago.  It is funny how when the school year ends, I am scared for the summer.  How am I going to entertain everyone, all day everyday?  How will I do enough fun activities that they will remember forever?  How will I keep the babies on their nap schedule?  Then as the summer ends, I find myself feeling so sad that everyone is going back and our family is spending our days apart from one another.

This year, in particular, I find myself really struggling with the regret and the fear of missing all of this as they grow.  Having a very active, strong willed, three year old who takes every ounce of my patience, and a one year old who will climb any obstacle that you put in front of him, makes for some long days with little reprieve.  Oliver still wakes during the night,  Addison has night terrors, Ellie even wakes up sometimes to come in bed with me... Most mornings I wake up exhausted.  I find myself longing for the future when they will sleep and when I can have some of my life back.  At the exact same time I long for that, I find myself fearing missing them as babies.  I already look back at pictures and feel a huge pit in my stomach and find myself reaching out to hold them back at that time.  The irony of it all is probably at the time I took the photo I was over the day with them, longing for the future.  How do you stay in the moment, not take it all too seriously, and realize that this is all part of the journey?  How do you appreciate it all?

I wish I could go back and tell myself to calm down with Mason.  I remember being so strict with him.  Trying to discipline right (I didn't want a bratty child).  I had to keep the perfect schedule for him (nap every day at 1.  in bed at 8!).  I remember loosing my mind when he had a tantrum.  I remember screaming at him.  I remember grabbing his arm and taking him home from the park for acting like...a three year old.. when he was THREE!  I remember rushing bedtime.  I remember thinking way too much what other people thought about me as a mother.  I have learned a lot in my time with Mason.  I have learned to let go of perfection and to be much more easy going, but I still have still have a long way to go. 

Addison takes every ounce of my patience.  She is strong willed.  She is smart as all hell.  She is non stop.  She does not give me any sort of break.  She literally sits outside my bathroom door when I'm in there.  She will just undress and come into the shower with me without warning.  She wants to help me with every single step of the laundry.  And when she is quiet and I think that maybe, MAYBE she is occupied for a minute, she is actually just coloring, gluing, and painting the walls.  She is a lot like Mason was (is) and I now I may remember why I lost my patience so often with Mason.  She also extra difficult because Elizabeth has always been so calm and easy.  She rarely had tantrums.  She slept well (still does!).  She has always been a  peaceful person to be around.  Addison is going to make for something truly amazing one day!  I'm sure of it!  But parenting her takes so much out of me, its hard to find the extra love she needs and craves.  How do I keep myself from the regret of how I acted and how do I appreciate this time?  I know that I won't remember how hard this time was.  But I will remember her sweet face.  Her voice.  The way she wraps her arms so tighly around my neck.  The way she puts her head next to mine with her face in my face as I lay with her.  The way she smiles at me as falls asleep.  I already miss her and she's still here in her three year old body.  This is the fear I feel while at the exact same time that I count the minutes until bedtime.  How do I enjoy it all and not rush it?

After much reflection, I have come to the conclusion that I will miss this life regardless. It is like anything else in life, you miss what you don't have anymore.   But I want to look back on the time with fullness in my heart.  I want to know that I raised these amazing people with kindness and patience, and that they always felt loved by me.  I am making the conscious effort to wake up every day (despite how sleep deprived I am) and see the GOOD in the day.  I'm learning that I can't do it all and that life with children doesn't come with instructions.  I'm letting the laundry stay folded in piles and not get put away.  I'm laying with the kids when they need me to fall asleep.  I'm letting Oliver sleep in my bed.  I'm packing a cookie with their lunch.  I'm letting them wear whatever they want.  Its O K if  my budding artist fills the wall with color (that's what magic eraser is for).  If the naps happen, that's great!  If not, that's ok too.   This time is so sacred, and short, and I'm certain that I will remember these good times (like our "epic summer" as Ellie calls it).  I will miss them and that I will long for them, but I want to look back without regret.  I want to know that I loved them the best that I could, and that every stage had challenges and had beauty, but I'm choosing to see the good.  I'm choosing kindness for the Bris Bunch.

"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice." -Peggy O' Mara

Thanks for following along as I navigate this amazing journey.
xo,
Kirby

Ordinary People Change the World- Bris Book Review

Our nightly readings over in the Bris Abode have included the Ordinary People Change the World book series.  I found them while Ellie was learning about the woman's movement in school last year and was excited to teach her about a few of the amazing women who have changed our world for the better.  I thought that she would fight me on reading them, thinking that it would be boring, but she quickly engaged, and found herself relating to the stories.

I am Amelia Earhart written by Brad Meltzer is a fun and friendly story telling of Amelia Earhart's biography.  I love how Meltzer chooses a particular character trait to focus on in each of his stories in the series.  In Amelia's case, it was her ability to take no for an answer.  She was the first woman to fly a plane over the Atlantic Ocean and she battled many obstacles to be able to do it.  The whimsical drawings are engaging and fun.  Then at the end of the story there are real photos of Amelia which are nice to see what she looked like and glimpses of what the world looked like in the early 1900s.

I could not wait to read I am Helen Keller.  I did a book report on her in second grade and I still remember being so moved by her life.  As a baby, she was struck blind and deaf by an illness.  She could not communicate with anyone and she was very frustrated.  When she was 6 years old she met Annie Sullivan who taught her how to communicate via sign language and eventually learned to read Braille.  I love how in this story Meltzer focuses on Helen's determination.  She would not give up on finding a way to communicate with others, despite all obstacles.  She was able to go on to attend college and has been a lead "voice" for people with disabilities everywhere.

In I am Rosa Parks, Meltzer focuses on her ability to stand up for herself.  I love this one because I think that this is a important trait that all people, especially girls, need to know.  By staying seated on the bus, Rosa Parks started the Civil Rights Movement and changed the world for African Americans.  Her story is so remarkable and I am so proud to share it with Ellie.

There are so many other amazing stories in the Ordinary People Change the World Series.  I am so happy we stumbled across them as a way to bring some inspiring history lessons into our home.

Thanks for following along!
xo
k

Get Outside

The Bris babies and I have spent a lot of time visiting Mumsie this summer in Northeastern PA where I grew up.  It has been a fun summer filled with adventure!  I have enjoyed rediscovering the area with a different set of eyes than I had as a bored teen living here with "nothing to do."  There is so much beautiful land here with gorgeous farms, woods filled with greenery,  sprawling lakes, and endless acres of fields where you can see the sun rise in the morning and set at night.

On Tuesday, after a tired morning, where we had little working in our favor, Mumsie and I decided that we needed to get out of the house.  We wanted the kids to be able to run around and we wanted to get some exercise to enjoy the cooler 70 degree weather.  We packed a picnic and ventured out to Ricketts Glen State Park for a hike.  When we got there we decided on a buddy system to remind the kids to stick together.  Of course, Mason made us decide on a team name for each group.  Mason and Ellie were Team Dragon, Addison and Mumsie were Team Waterfall, Oliver and I were Team Baby Bris, and Lilly took turns being on everyone's team.  We picked a path and set out on our way.  The kids skipped over the big stone rocks, ran across the bridges, drank water from the streams, navigated across logs, and overall just enjoyed nature.

It turned into quite the hike!  The scenery was so beautiful with all of the green trees and the stream running through.  We made it to see the waterfall, and even though I was a nervous wreck having the kids up there, it was very peaceful to hear the water running down.  Addie and Oliver were such troopers.  I had Oliver in the Ergo carrier for the most part, and Addison alternated between walking and being held.  She even took a ride in the Ergo at the end when she couldn't go on any longer. When we finished up we were starving so we made our way to the picnic tables which were right by where we parked.  We had our little picnic and relaxed a bit before heading home.

I am so happy that we didn't let our morning get us down and that we took the opportunity to get outside.  "And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul." -John Muir

Enjoy your weekend!

xo,

K

Trust Your Instincts

I have taken some time away from blogging to care for my little ones and adjust to life caring for four children.  I have to admit that it has taken a full year to adjust.  To all of parents of three children, anyone who tells you that going from three to four is "no big deal," you have been lied to.  I am here to tell you that four is constant.  Jim Gaffigan sums it up best "You want to know what its like having a fourth kid.  Imagine yourself drowning.  Then someone hands you a baby."  No, no.. in all honesty, its absolute madness and definitely constant, but its fun.  


(all four of the Bris babes. at least they are all looking at the camera and only one is crying..)

In our case our youngest little baby had a rough first year of life which has added more to the stresses of four than we were prepared for.  Being that he was born three weeks early, we were so thrilled that he came into the world healthy and didn't require any additional hospital time.  The first couple of sleepless months seemed par for the course.  Of course we had been through this three other times already.  But when the frequent wakings kept continuing into month 6, 7, 8.... my mommy instinct told me that something else was not right with the little guy.  I started to notice that when he would sleep in bed with me (out of complete exhaustion), that he would stop breathing.  Not to mention, he was a very loud snorer.   I brought up the possibility of sleep apnea to my doctor, who said it was unlikely given his age, but that we should consult with pulmonology and ENT to check out his adenoids size.  Of course getting in for those appointments took weeks of waiting.  We finally saw ENT in April. They scanned his adenoids and found that they were slightly enlarged, but nothing that would justify removing them.  ENT was certain that Oliver was just another healthy baby.  I left the office feeling defeated and tired, but my gut told me not to give up.  

We finally got in with Pulmonology for a sleep study in May.  I have never experienced a sleep study before so I didn't know what to expect.  They connect wire after wire to your head & chest, and a put tube into your nose.  I thought that Oliver was never going to sleep with all of that going on when he doesn't sleep well in his own crib without his head wrapped in wires!  We had to get at least 6 hours of him sleeping so that they could get a read on his brain and breathing activity.  I was so nervous he was going to be up for the entire night! It was a little rough, but overall he did well.  Much better that I expected!  Nursing him while he was all connected was quite the challenge, but we made do like we always do, and we managed to get the 6 hours that they needed.  A couple of days later we followed up with ENT to find out the results of his sleep study.  His readings came back with moderate to severe sleep apnea.  He had 13 episodes during the study where he stopped breathing and his oxygen level dropped!  ENT wanted him in for surgery the next week to remove his tonsils and his adenoids.  They also wanted tubes in his ears for frequent ear infections (yes, on top of all of that we battled ear infection after ear infection all winter long).  I was shocked that we were going in for surgery after our initial visit with the ent surgeon where he thought that he was just another healthy boy. 

(during our hospital stay.  First pic pre op, last photo right before we left the hospital post op.)

The surgery was on June 5th and it went well. The surgeon was pleased with how well he did and how good he looked afterwards.  After we returned home, recovery was rough.  He couldn't swallow which made nursing and drinking very hard.  He lost weight and had lots of discomfort, but around July he turned a corner.  He started to eat better, his throat started to heal, and his breathing was drastically better.  His whole personality started to shine through.  I think that before the surgery he was so sleep deprived that he didn't have the energy to progress. Now he's loud , he's happy, he has taken steps, he finds joy in eating and drinking, we lay him down awake and he happily goes to sleep!!  It's a miracle! 

I hate to say that I'm happy I was right, because I wish that little Oliver did not have to experience all of that trauma.  But I am proud that I stuck to my gut and pushed through.  I feel very blessed to be living in Philadelphia so close to CHOP, one of the worlds best children's hospitals, so that we were able to get him the best care possible.  And I thank god for giving me the strength to get the answers for my baby boy.  Trust your instincts mamas.  They are strong and they are given to us for good reason! 


    (and here is the happy boy today!)


xo,
K

Wolfie the Bunny- Bris Book Review

Its time for another Bris Book Review!  Since baby Oliver's arrival, we have been reading different books on welcoming a new sibling into the home.  Wolfie the Bunny is my favorite book so far.  Wolfie is the newly adopted baby Wolf in a house of a mom, dad and daughter bunny.  Dot, the bunny, is not so sure about Wolfie, especially when her parents are busy taking pictures of his every movement and saying how cute he is.  She is very aware of the fact that he could "eat them all up!"  Their parents make Dot take Wolfie to get some more carrots from the store together and while there they meet a bear who wants to eat Wolfie.  Dot could run away, but instead she fights off the bear and saves Wolfie.  It is a sweet story of sibling rivalry and the unconditional love through sibling bonds.  I also love it because it teaches acceptance for those who are different than us.  The unique illustrations really make this book a delight to read and look at.  Check it out for the littles in your life!  My 2 year old Addison loves shout "He's going to eat us up!" when I read it to her.  6 year old, Elizabeth, and 9 year old, Mason, get a kick out of the story as well.  Save more than $5 on it today at Amazon!

Thanks for following along!
xo
K

Oliver Newell

It would figure that by baby number four it takes me three months to share his birth story.  But that's how it goes when you have four littles taking up every moment of your time!

The day started as any other Monday did. I got up, fed the kids breakfast, packed lunches, brushed hair, and rushed everyone out the door in time to catch the bus. I actually woke up feeling refreshed and energetic, unlike other mornings where I would have given anything for a few more minutes of sleep. I got my little sidekick, Addie Guth, ready and we went on our way.  I normally took Addison with me when I had my checkups, but this time I had taken my friend, Kim, up on the offer to watch her while I went in.  I dropped Addison off at her house to play with her daughter Emme and I started driving to meet Tommy so that we could go to my appointment.  Almost immediately, I started having contractions.  They weren't really different from my typical brachs and hicks contractions, but they were coming quickly.  I probably was having them every 3-4 minutes.  I insisted that it was no big deal.  Even when the doctor examined me and told me that I was almost 5 cms, I brushed it off and claimed that it wasn't the real deal. This was my fourth time.  I would know for sure when it was time. She wanted us to go to the hospital, but I made Tommy take me home first.  We went home and the contractions continued.  I finally admitted that we should go.  But even when we got to the hospital I kept saying to Tommy that I just wanted to go get Addison and go home.  After doing a non stress test for the baby they let me get up and walk around.  We strolled two doors down from my delivery room to get Tommy a Popsicle.  On the walk back I had a weird pain and turned to Tommy said "oh no."  I finally was able admit that it was time and that I wasn't going to be leaving the hospital that day. This little person was making his or her way into the world.  Almost immediately, I started with some of the most painful contractions out of all of my deliveries combined. They started, climbed up, and as they climbed down another one would start again. There was no break and I was getting no relief. The doctor came in and offered to break my water. As she broke my water, his head emerged and they urged me to push. One strong push (and a lot of screaming) later and he was out.  I was absolutely shocked to find out that the little person growing inside of me was a boy. A sweet, perfect little boy. There is nothing like the first moment you meet your new baby.  Seeing their face for the first time, holding their skin against yours, checking their little baby fingers and toes... This moment is like none else and Oliver was no exception.  He has got his mama wrapped around his sweet little finger!

Now for a name.. For those of you who have been following for awhile know that when Addison was born we were told that she was going to be a boy and we had planned to call him Oliver. We planned on having a boy and were surprised in the delivery room to find that he was actually a she!  So this little man coming just made the whole thing make sense. We believe that the mixup occurred so that God could let us know that we weren't finished yet. As soon he was born, I wanted to call him Oliver, but I wasn't in a rush to make a decision on a name. I wanted to let it come to me after snuggling, nursing, and getting to know him.  The morning that we were scheduled to go home I started to panic a bit about making a decision. I was getting tired and the whole thing was stressing me out. It was then that a text came through from my sister claire which read "God sent you your Oliver. I don't see how his name can be anything else but that."  I knew that it was true and I picked up the form, then and there, and signed his new name to it.

Mr. Oliver Newell.. You are such a sweet, lovable baby.  Your favorite place to lay is on my chest, right on my heart.  You love a good swaddle and it calms you right down when you are worked up.   Your eye color is still undecided.  One day its teal blue and the next its grey brown.  You have a flirtatious, half grin smile that you give to all of the ladies.  You are such a casual, laid back little guy.  Even the clothes that look best on you reflects that style. Your little coos can heal anyone's bad days.  We are so thankful that you have come into our family to make it even more complete.  We love you to the moon and back little bro bro!

xo

K